


The Greater Good

by mithrel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blanket Permission, M/M, Podfic Welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-21
Updated: 2010-02-21
Packaged: 2017-11-11 12:53:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/478743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mithrel/pseuds/mithrel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucifer makes a bargain with Sam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sam’s exhausted, but he doesn’t want to sleep. Dean thinks it’s because he’s afraid Lucifer will invade his dreams again, and he’s right…only he doesn’t know exactly what Sam’s afraid of. If he did, he’d take Lucifer apart with his bare hands.

More than three months ago Lucifer had come into his dreams again. “I have a bargain for you, Sam.”

“I won’t say yes no matter what you offer me,” Sam growled.

“I don’t want you to say yes,” Lucifer said, and at Sam’s skeptical look he’d elaborated. “You do me a favor, and I won’t keep trying to take over the world and conquer Heaven."

“Exactly what kind of favor?” Sam had asked, his eyes narrowed.

Lucifer had licked his lips and approached him. Sam backed away warily. When Lucifer reached out a hand to touch his face Sam nearly fell over flinching away. “Oh hell no!”

“Is it really so much to ask, Sam? In exchange for millions of lives?”

Sam had hesitated. “What do you want?”

Lucifer smiled again. “You let me do whatever I want with you, for as long as I want, and the Apocalypse will end.”

Sam hesitated, torn.

“You don’t have to answer right away. This is a big decision.”

And just like that Sam was alone in his head.

***

Lucifer came back the next night. “Well?” he asked gently. “What have you decided?”

“I don’t trust you to keep your word,” Sam said, and Lucifer sighed.

“I told you I’d never lie to you.”

Sam shook his head. “I don’t trust you, but if there’s even a chance that it’ll stop the Apocalypse...then OK.”

Lucifer smiled and Sam shivered. He managed not to flinch as Lucifer kissed him, but he didn’t react either.

Lucifer pulled away. “You said you agreed,” he said reproachfully.

“I agreed to let you do whatever you wanted,” Sam gritted out. “I didn’t say I’d participate.”

Lucifer looked put-upon, then sly. “We’ll see.”

Sam had let the devil fuck him that night. He wasn’t brutal, or violent, and that almost made it worse. “I told you I’d never hurt you,” Lucifer reminded him when Sam flinched away.

At Stanford Jess had talked him into taking a yoga class with her. He used the breathing exercises he’d learned then to stay calm, and tried to ignore what was happening. At one point the phrase _Lie back and think of England_ floated across his mind and he had to fight back a hysterical sob.

When Lucifer had finished he kissed Sam’s forehead and vanished.

Sam woke up wondering if it was worth it.

***

The worst part…well the whole thing was the worst part, but the thing that made it so nervewracking was that it didn’t happen all the time. Lucifer would come to him every night for a week, then be gone for several days, then three days in a row, then nothing for a week and a half.

“I never know when you’re coming!” Sam complains to him one night.

Anyone else might have made a crude joke, but Lucifer is too urbane for that. “It depends on my mood. I’m not sure when I’ll want you.”

Sam nods, biting back the anger that he's apparently something to occupy the devil when he’s bored.

He’s started to respond to Lucifer recently, and he hates himself for that. He’s never gotten fully hard, let alone come, but it makes him sick anyway.

Lucifer is always careful with him, almost gentle. At one point Sam had said “If you’re going to rape me you might as well do it properly!” Lucifer’s face had closed and he hadn’t seen him again for nearly a month.

Tonight is no different. Lucifer kisses down his neck as Sam lies there rigid, refusing to react at all. Sam knows that disappoints him, and it gives him a fierce sort of pleasure to expose this as the twisted mockery it is.

He can’t keep from reacting forever though. He never makes a sound, but when Lucifer’s lips close over his nipple his breath hitches and he can feel the beginnings of arousal kindling in his gut.

He closes his eyes as Lucifer prepares him, tries to forget what’s happening, ignore the spikes of pleasure shooting through him.

He can’t help shuddering when Lucifer enters him, his eyes still closed to keep back the tears. He’s half-hard, and as Lucifer thrusts into him he reaches between them.

Sam bats his hand away with a gasped “No!” Lucifer lets him, even though technically he could keep doing it. Sam had promised to let him do whatever he wanted.

Lucifer sighs. “You don’t have to be such a martyr, Sam. You are allowed to enjoy this, you know.”

“No I’m not,” Sam grits out, glaring at him. “And yes I do.”

Lucifer shakes his head sadly. “Have it your way.”

***

The next time Lucifer comes to him he kisses Sam. He doesn’t do that all the time, but it happens fairly often. Sam doesn’t kiss him back, but this has been going on for long enough that he opens his mouth, lets the devil in.

Lucifer seems somehow different tonight, although Sam can’t place why. He strokes down Sam’s sides and leans down.

Sam pushes his head away. “No!”

Lucifer looks up at him, the ever-present sadness in his eyes. “Please. Let me do this for you.”

Sam stares. He’s never asked for anything before, and he’s certainly never said “Please.” “It’s not like I can stop you.”

“I don’t want you by force, Sam.”

“Tough. If you think I want this then Hell fried your brains.”

Lucifer sighs, and Sam flinches at the feel of his breath. “Let me.”

Sam doesn’t say anything, but he lays his hands down flat on the bed.

He’s flaccid, but a jolt still goes through him when Lucifer’s lips close over his cock. And now it’s not a matter of forcing himself not to react. There’s no way he can keep from reacting to this.

But he tries. He might be getting hard under the devil’s tongue and lips, but he stays quiet and fists his hands in the sheets.

Lucifer sucks him down and Sam refuses to thrust, staring at the cracked ceiling of the room, but then Lucifer runs his tongue along the underside and a whimper tears itself from Sam’s throat. Lucifer hums approvingly and Sam’s hips shoot up.

He’s close, he can tell, and apparently so can Lucifer, because he pulls off to suckle at the tip while Sam tries to keep his hips from jerking. And then he’s coming down the devil’s throat. Lucifer swallows it all.

He pulls off and kisses him. Sam is wooden underneath him. Lucifer sighs and vanishes.

Sam doesn’t see him again after that, but there’s still no activity other than the normal pre-Apocalypse-level weirdness, and Sam wonders if he’s gone back to Hell. Convinces himself he doesn’t care.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer’s gone and the Apocalypse is over. Sam should be happy.

Lucifer’s gone. The Apocalypse is over. Dean’s suspicious, sure he’s just planning something even worse, but Sam knows better.

It’s been three months since Lucifer last visited him in his dreams, two since the signs of the Apocalypse started disappearing. He and Dean have been mostly mopping up–exorcising stray demons, putting the thousand and one unquiet spirits raised by the advent of Death back to rest.

And Sam’s relieved, because it means he didn’t doom the world. But he’s also disappointed, for reasons he doesn’t care to look at too closely.

He realizes now that Lucifer had wanted him to come to him willingly, and when he realized he’d never get that he’d left. He should be relieved that he’s not being subjected to that anymore.

But he’s not.

Dean still doesn’t know about the deal he made, and he can’t talk to him. He can’t talk to Bobby or Cas either. It occurs to him that Chuck probably already knows, and that thought is only surpassed for sheer cringing horror by the fact that it’ll be poked over and likely written about by hundreds of fans if Chuck publishes it.

He spares a moment to hope Chuck will be too traumatized to put it in the books.

So he can’t talk to anyone. Except Lucifer. But Lucifer’s the problem, and he’s gone anyways.

***

That night Sam ends up in the motel room with Lucifer staring at him, still in the vessel he’d had when Sam had seen him before.

“What are you doing here?” A bit blunt, but he can be forgiven, considering. Not to mention he’s not even sure if Lucifer’s actually here.

“You called me.”

“I didn’t!” At Lucifer’s look, he falters. “Did I?” He hadn’t meant to. If he never saw Lucifer again it would be too soon. Except…

“What do you want, Sam?”

He has no clue how to even begin to answer that question. “I…”

Lucifer approaches him and puts a hand on his cheek. Sam flinches away. “Don’t _touch_ me!”

Lucifer holds his hands up and backs off.

“I _hate_ you!” Sam snarls, ignoring the quickly-veiled flash of pain on Lucifer’s face. “God knows how many people you’ve killed, how many you’re _going_ to kill! If it wasn’t for you my parents would still be alive, my brother wouldn’t be broken and we could both have had a normal life!”

“What do you want, Sam?” Lucifer repeats softly, not even trying to deny it.

“I…I don’t even know!” Sam says, beginning to pace.

“I’m not going to force you into anything.”

Sam pivots to face Lucifer and laughs humorlessly. “Yeah, you said that before and then you did.”

Lucifer sighs. “I did, and I’m sorry. But I’ll do whatever you decide.”

“Even if I tell you to go away and never come back?” Sam demands.

“Even if you tell me to go away and never come back,” Lucifer repeats solemnly.

Sam stares at him. It doesn’t seem like he’s lying, but if anyone could make a blatant lie seem like God’s honest truth it would be Lucifer.

He turns away. When he turns back, Lucifer’s gone.

***

He doesn’t see Lucifer again for several weeks, and between the kelpie in Lake Helen, the cerberus in Kentucky and the poltergeist in Illinois Sam almost forgets about him.

Almost.

The next time Lucifer shows up in his dreams he doesn’t say anything. Sam doesn’t know whether he’s waiting for him to speak first, but he honestly can’t think of anything to say, so they end up sitting in silence the whole night. It should be creepy, but it somehow isn’t.

They’re taking a breather in Missouri when Cas shows up again. Sam’s not sure exactly what his deal is now that the Apocalypse is over, but he’s been helping them with cases occasionally.

Sam wasn’t comfortable with Cas when he first met him, and now that discomfort’s back. He’s sure Cas is going to _know,_ somehow, about Lucifer.

And sure enough, when Dean’s gone on a food run, Cas looks at him. “Sam, are you well?”

“I’m fine!” Sam answers, too quickly.

Cas frowns. “Are you certain? You’ve been quiet today.”

Sam’s about to say, “Yeah, man, I’m good,” but something stops him. Recent evidence notwithstanding, he’s fairly sure an angel is less likely to be judgmental than anyone else, or at least less likely than Dean. And it’s not like there’s anyone else he can talk to. “No, I’m…I’m not.”

“What happened?”

Sam takes a deep breath. “You…you have to have noticed the lack of Apocalypse recently.”

Cas nods, and now he looks puzzled and frustrated, like Sam just brought up something he’s been trying to figure out. “There has been no sign of any of the Horsemen or Lucifer.”

“Yeah, and there won’t be.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Lucifer’s given up.”

“And you would know this how?” And there it is, the air Cas had around him when he first showed up, when Sam was drinking demon blood. At least this time it’s only suspicious, not hostile.

“Lucifer showed up in my dreams again.”

The suspicion shifts to alarm. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah…no…I’m not sure.”

“What happened?”

“He offered to make a deal. Not for my soul or my agreeing to let him in,” Sam continues hastily as Castiel steps forward. “To end the Apocalypse.”

“And what were the terms?” Castiel’s voice is flat.

Sam swallows. “If I…gave him something…he’d stop trying to take over the world.”

“Gave him what?”

Sam doesn’t answer. He can’t say it, and now he’s wishing he’d never started this conversation.

But Cas somehow guesses, or maybe he reads the answer in Sam’s mind. “He asked for sexual favors.”

Sam nods miserably.

“And you accepted?”

“What else could I do?” Sam demands. “It’s the entire world!”

“But you must have known he wouldn’t keep his word.”

“But he did!” Sam protests. “The Apocalypse has stopped!”

“Nevertheless…”

“And anyway, he left.”

Cas tilts his head. “He left?”

Sam shrugs. “Yeah, a few months ago. So I haven’t had to do anything since then.” He doesn’t mention that Lucifer came back, since he’s not sure how he feels about that himself yet.

Cas comes forward and puts a hand on his forehead. Sam tries not to flinch away, but he’s afraid of what Cas might see in his head.

Cas steps back after a moment. “He has exerted no influence over you.”

“See? I told you, I’m fine.” But in reality he’s not sure whether to be relieved or not. On the one hand, Lucifer’s not messing with his head. But on the other hand…Lucifer’s not messing with his head. “Don’t tell Dean?”

Cas gives him a withering look. “Of course not. But you should. He would know how to deal with this.”

Sam stares at him, then laughs. “No he wouldn’t! He’d freak out! I’m not telling him about this!”

Cas sighs. “Very well.”

***

Lucifer shows up again that night, sitting across from him on the other bed, and this time Sam has something he wants to say.

“Why?” he demands. “I mean why me? Why this?”

“You’re my vessel,” Lucifer reminds him. “Or you would be if I still cared about the Apocalypse.”

“Which is why you should be trying to get me to agree to let you possess me. Not…”

Lucifer nods, folds his hands in his lap and stares at them. “You’re a lot like me, Sam.”

“I’m _nothing_ like you!” It’s no less true for being a kneejerk answer.

Lucifer looks at him. “No. Perhaps you’re right. But you’re what I could be. You went back to your family. I never did.”

“Couldn’t you still? I mean…God’s supposed to be able to forgive anything, isn’t he?”

Lucifer smiles sadly. “He is. But He’s gone. Heaven is closed to me.”

“I’m sorry.” And on impulse Sam takes Lucifer’s hand and squeezes it.

Lucifer stares at him. If he were anyone else he’d be gaping. After a moment he squeezes back.

***

It’s only later that Sam realizes that Lucifer never answered his question. Or maybe he did. Sam is the only one likely to feel even the slightest bit sympathetic toward him. Anyone else would hear “Lucifer” and run in the other direction. So it’s not like he’s had a wide array of choices.

Still, there had to have been demons…but Lucifer was an angel, plus he’d _created_ most demons, so he might not have wanted to. Not that he thinks Lucifer would let something like that stop him.

He supposes it doesn’t really matter why he’s doing it. What matters is he hasn’t tried anything since he came back, and he’s respecting Sam’s decisions.

Which puts the entire burden on him–not exactly a comfortable position to be in. He should just tell Lucifer to fuck off, but somehow he can’t.

Maybe it’s the fact that he does know what it’s like to want to go against your family, to feel like you don’t fit. Maybe it’s the fact that Lucifer did stop the Apocalypse. Maybe he’s just been so screwed up by everything that’s happened in his life that he’ll go looking for affection wherever he finds it–certainly Ruby could attest to that.

But the next time he sees Lucifer he tells him, “I still don’t know why you’re doing this. I don’t trust you, I don’t like you and I should just tell you to leave me the hell alone.”

“Then why don’t you?” Lucifer inquires.

Sam throws up his hands. “I don’t know!”

“Maybe you don’t think I’m so horrible after all,” Lucifer suggests and Sam snorts.

“No, you’re horrible. I know that for a fact. But you did stop the Apocalypse.”

“I won’t start trying to take over again if you tell me to leave.”

“And that,” Sam says, waving a finger at him, “That’s why I can’t tell you to fuck off, since…I mean if I didn’t know better I’d think you didn’t _want_ to take over the world.”

“I don’t.” At Sam’s incredulous look he continues. “You and Dean weren’t the only ones with a destiny, you know. I can’t go back to Heaven, and I don’t want to stay in Hell. There’s no alternative.”

“You could stay here,” Sam suggests tentatively.

“In what vessel? No, the best I can hope for is that the angels don’t figure out I’m spending most of my time in Hell and reinstate the seals so I’m stuck there.”

“Maybe they won’t,” Sam says. “I mean, no one knows what happened to you.”

“They won’t risk it. I’ll be sealed back into Hell eventually.”

Sam knows he’s right. No one else knows about Lucifer’s…well, change of heart, and they wouldn’t believe it if they did know. “I wish you didn’t have to be.”

Lucifer raises an eyebrow in surprise. 

“I mean, Dean was in Hell for forty years and it messed him up. I can only imagine what thousands of years would do.” 

Lucifer turns away and Sam has an insane urge to come up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder.

He thinks of something suddenly. “If Cas finds God…”

“The chances of that are remote at best,” Lucifer points out. “God won’t be found if He doesn’t want to be.”

“Still, it’s something. If he finds God you could ask forgiveness.”

“Even if, by some miracle, God is found, even if He forgives me and I can go home, there’s still the problem of a vessel.”

“Yeah, but if you weren’t stuck in Hell you could still talk to me like this.”

“True.” But Lucifer doesn’t look hopeful and Sam can’t blame him. If God didn’t show up for the Apocalypse he’s not likely to.

Maybe it’s the hopelessness in Lucifer’s stance, maybe Sam’s just finally tired of trying to figure out whatever the hell this is, but he steps into Lucifer’s space.

Lucifer looks up at him, startled. Sam takes hold of his chin and kisses him, the first time he’s ever instigated anything.

Lucifer stands rigid for a long moment, then slowly kisses him back. He pulls back from Sam after a moment. “Why…”

“If you do get sealed back into Hell I want you to have something good to remember.”

Lucifer smiles. “I’ll always remember you, Sam.”

So. Sam’s made his decision, and he can’t regret it, even if Dean finds out. Lucifer is evil, but Sam doesn’t think he has to be. He hopes Cas does find God. If he ever does show up Sam thinks he might deck him. He’s got a lot to answer for.


End file.
